Quote:
| Originally Posted by Unregistered No e chimp could put up a good fight! they work 60 hours a week and never have time to train.Admin would roll you around the ring with a 100,000 ex employees cheering him on.Although comical I do believe I would pay to see andy taylor and admin go head to head! lets get ready to.......... ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumble! |
The event would start with us both getting off the plane in Las Vegas. I would dash to the rental counter I've been going to for the past two years. They'd hand me the keys and I'd be out of there fast and they'd be playing the theme song from "Gone in 60 Seconds".
Andy would dash to the Enterprise counter where he'd have to wait behind three other corporate travellers. After 15 minutes, he'd get to the front of the line. It's his company, so he knows they won't let him decline CDW unless he says "No" three times, so he shouts "No CDW!", "No CDW!", "No CDW!" immediately to short circuit the process. It works, but they don't have his car, although they won't admit it. They'll duck and dodge and weave, saying "Your car is ready, Mr. Tyler (yes, they'll misread his name), and will be here in a few minutes!". He waits for half an hour. His theme music will be The Rolling Stones, singing "You can't always get what you want".
Finally, they deliver a giant SUV even though he only wanted a full-size car. Inside, it smells like marijuana and vomit. He gets in and hauls ass out of the airport. Two miles later he runs out of gas. Meanwhile, I'm already at the arena, warming up, running up and down the stairs while shouting out the Bill of Rights from memory.
Just as we're ready to start the rumble, an army of Enterprise corporate attorneys arrives and tries to stop the event by telling me that it's inconsistent with my original intentions for Failing Enterprise, and besides, it violates my Terms of Use, although they're a little vague on exactly how.
Andy and I circle each other in the ring, shouting taunts and insults.
"Our revenue is up 10% this year!", shouts Andy.
"My web traffic is up 19%
this month!", I shout back.
"You're so stupid, you used to buy CDW!", screams Andy.
"You're so stupid, you don't understand the Internet", I scream back.
"I'm going to kick your ass in court!", yells Andy, as his lawyers wince and get a worried look on their faces and nervously shake their heads from side to side.
"I'm going to kick your ass in the Court of Public Opinion!", I yell back.
I finally work up my best Adam Sandler and scream "You want a piece of me old man!?"
The fight is over in seconds as I body slam him. "Are you
Completely Satisfied?", I scream, as his trainers, who consist entirely of car preps, rush over and hose him down so he doesn't pass out.
I'm out of there in a blaze of glory, ready to enjoy a night out in Las Vegas, a town powered by Hoover Dam and bad math.
Bring it on.